Story Summary:
The story of Boromir and his
true love (my version at least) and what happens to her when Boromir
never returns to her. Starts four-five years before the War of the Ring
and ends shortly after it. Rated: R |
Chapter 8
Steps Through Grieving
“I see you are still getting yourself into trouble.”
She looked up and Éowyn was there. She started crying as soon as she
saw her friend and Éowyn made the jailer open the cell. She came in and
hugged her while she cried.
When she finally stopped, Éowyn said “I was worried about you when you
left and I have heard you have had a rough time since you left. I wish
we could have talked you into staying.”
“No, then I would have never met Boromir.” Lillianna said as she sniffled.
Rubbing her stomach, Éowyn said “Yes Faramir has told me a lot about
Boromir and talked of you as well. I never knew you were the Lily I had
known until Éomer told me today. I am sorry about Boromir. He sounds
like he was a good man.”
Nodding, Lillianna couldn’t speak for a long time. “We were very happy
for four years. It was not long enough though. I would trade anything
to have him back.”
“Yes this war has caused us all to lose much.” Éowyn said looking down.
“I assume since Éomer is King that you have lost Theoden and Theodred.”
Éowyn nodded. “We lost Theodred many months back and lost my uncle at Pelennor Field. The Witch King of Angmar killed him.”
“I am very sorry.” Lilianna said holding her hand. Éowyn nodded then smiled.
“I heard you tried to kill Denethor.”
“Yes, I wish I had been more successful but at least now he is dead. I hope he suffered.”
“Do you not know?” Éowyn asked surprised.
“Know what?”
Éowyn told her about what happened with Faramir and Denethor. Lillianna cried for a long time.
“I am glad that Boromir was not alive to see what his father did to
Faramir. I just wish I could have killed him and saved Faramir the
pain. How do you recover mentally when your own father does something
like that?”
“He has been doing well. Gandalf says that even though he tried to burn
Faramir alive it was because he was insane enough to think he was dead.
Apparently he was very upset by his death.”
“I am glad Faramir has you at least. Boromir and I always prayed he
would find love. He is such a good man, Éowyn. He will make you very
happy.” Lillianna said.
She thought back to her wedding and smiled at the memory.
“You too will find happiness again.” Éowyn said squeezing her hand. “I
must go now because they said I could only stay for a little while. I
will be back tomorrow and I heard that Éomer and Faramir plan to come
see you as well.” Hugging her friend, she said, “I am glad to have you
back, Lillianna.”
After Éowyn left, she lay down to take a nap and woke up when Faramir
came to her. The week she was there was full of visits from Faramir,
Éowyn, and sometimes Éomer. When she finally was released, Faramir took
her to Boromir’s chambers but she couldn’t go in. He took her to the
guest chambers near Éowyn. Éowyn arranged for clothes for her.
The first night she was out, she was invited to dinner with the King
and his guests. She tried to decline but Faramir and Éowyn insisted.
Éomer showed up at her door and escorted her to dinner. Before dinner,
everyone was sitting around drinking and talking. Faramir introduced
her to Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf, and the four hobbits. She thought
Legolas and Gimli with very sweet with their words of fondness for
Boromir. She found Frodo very cool to her and Sam as well. Merry and
Pippin were very kind to her telling her that Boromir saved their lives.
She smiled and said, “That sounds like him.”
Gandalf was also very kind to her.
When she at last saw Aragorn again, he came over to her and smiled “At
least this time we are meeting under better circumstances.”
“Yes. Much better. Thank you for inviting me.”
“I am honored you are here. I see that Boromir married one of the prettiest women in Gondor.” He said with a smile.
She blushed and smiled. “Thank you.” She had such sadness about her, he
wanted to reach out and hug her but he knew he didn’t know her well
enough to do that. At last she looked at him and said, “Faramir tells
me you were with my husband when he died.”
He nodded and said, “I am very sorry. Your husband was an honorable man and I was very sorry when we lost him.”
She sat there and thought about it for a minute then she said, “How did he die?”
He paused at her bluntness. He was not even sure he should tell her and
he was shocked she would ask so soon. “Why do we not talk about this
some other time? I do not want you to think of sad things tonight.
Enjoy tonight and worry about this another time.” He saw her face and
said softly “Knowing how will not help you stop hurting. It will not
make it any easier or make more sense of why things like this happen.
Think about the fact that it will not help heal your heart and if you
still want to know if a few days, come to me and we will talk about
it.” She nodded quietly.
Aragorn studied her throughout dinner and felt sad that she was so
withdrawn and sad. According to Faramir, she was a spunky, vivacious
woman at one time and he had never seen two people more in love than
her and Boromir. Even Éowyn and Éomer were shocked by her withdrawn
quietness based on how she was as a child. He had seen some of the
spunk when she was before him in the throne room. But she was nothing
like Faramir described her. He imagined it was very hard for her. To
have to hide their marriage for so long then to lose him while she was
pregnant. He had wondered often why Boromir seemed lonely and withdrawn
at times. He assumed it was because of the mission but now he wondered
if it was because of her. He felt guilty for Boromir’s death. Meeting
her made those feelings worse.
Lillianna tried to enjoy dinner but she found herself the silent
observer through most of it. Both Éowyn and Faramir were trying to
include her as much as possible. Éomer was teasing her quite often but
she never really rose to the bait so he was having a difficult time.
She felt Faramir’s eyes on her frequently and knew he was concerned.
Finally she grew tired of the scrutiny and excused herself saying that
she was tired because of the baby. Éomer offered to walk her back and
she declined saying she would be fine. She walked back to her room then
past it deciding to see her old house. Faramir said it had been damaged
but she wanted to see it.
Even though she was tired, she walked down to the house and was shocked
when she saw it. It had obviously been hit by something thrown with a
catapult because it was virtually destroyed. The whole end of the
house, which had the sitting room, was completely gone. Carefully
looking inside she saw that their bed had been destroyed as well only
leaving the wall where their clothes and things had been stored still
standing. Seeing their bed demolished was what put her over the edge.
She had nothing left of her former life. Not her husband, not her
house, not even the bed they had slept in. Holding her stomach, she
walked back to the upper level and stopped when she went by Boromir’s
chambers. Faramir had said their belongings were there. Going in, she
left the door open by accident. She walked into the bedroom and there
were boxes everywhere. She looked through some of the large boxes and
found one that had her jewelry bos in it. Boromir loved to bring her
jewelry so she had quite a bit. She laid it on the bed intending to
take it with her. None of her clothes would fit so she left them. She
took a couple of Boromir’s shirts just so she would have something of
his. She had often slept in his shirts when she missed him. Some of
them still smelled of him and it made her feel comforted.
Lillianna came across a smaller box and when she opened it she realized
it was her wedding dress. Running her hands over the beads, she began
to cry remembering how happy she was that night. She cried until she
could cry no more. Drying her tears on one of Boromir’s shirts, she
began to gather the few things she wanted for now. She heard someone
come in and looked up to see Faramir. He looked at her curiously then
saw what she was doing.
“Why did you not wait until I could help you with this?” He asked softly.
“Most of these things I do not want right now, anyway. I just wanted to
get the few things I wanted for now. I cannot wear any of my old
clothes so there is no point taking them. Unless Aragorn wants these
rooms for someone else.”
“No, I think he thought you planned to move here as did I.”
She looked around and shook her head. “No, there is no place for me
here. I do not know where I will go. My house is destroyed. My husband
is gone. I have nothing left anymore.” She said sadly.
“Do not talk that way. You have your friends and you have me. You will have your baby soon.” He said coming over to her.
“I look at you and I think of how close we all were. And when I think
about the baby, I remember how much he wanted a child and I never even
told him we were having one.” She sighed. “Sometimes it does not even
seem worth it to get out of bed.”
“Boromir would not want you to feel like this. He would want you to be happy.” Faramir said pulling her chin to face him.
Looking away, she said, “Well I did not want him to die so he lost his
right to tell me how to feel when he did.” She felt a rush of anger
overwhelm her and was stunned by it. “I begged him not to go, Faramir.
Doing what your father wanted meant more to him than me. I mean we hid
our marriage for four years because of your father. Then he leaves when
I beg him to stay because of your father. Look where it got him.”
“Nothing meant more to him than you. If you had demanded he do it, he
would have told father about your marriage. I think he knew deep down
that you preferred him not to know because of what it would mean for
you and what would become of your relationship with him if he did tell
father.”
“I know one thing that meant more to him than me.” She paused. “Gondor.” She said taking her stuff and leaving the room.
She did not stop until she reached her room. Throwing everything down,
she went and stood on the balcony. She was furious and she could not
seem to get a hold of her rage. She was so angry with him for leaving
her, for dying. He never should have been in Rivendell and he never
should have volunteered for the Fellowship. Feeling like she was going
insane, she decided to go to lay down and try to go to sleep. She was
exhausted from all of the stress and crying.