Story Summary:
When Theodred's true love comes to Edoras in
mourning, Eomer must deal with his own desires towards her. As her need
for his comfort increases, she must decide what role he will play in
her future. She betrays him with a lie that will change his life
forever but he must forgive her or sacrifice his happiness.
Warning: explicit consensual sex
Chapter Eight
How Could You Not Tell Me?
Months after they returned from Aragorn’s coronation, Amrun had her
baby. Elrohir, Elladan, and Elrond were there with her for the birth.
When her baby was born, he was a strong healthy boy. She named him
Thengel after Éomer’s grandfather. Lord Elrond knew that Thengel was
Theoden’s father and had originally assumed this was the son of
Theodred. He was confused as to why she would keep the baby a secret
from his remaining family: Eowyn and Eomer.
When he overheard an argument between Amrun and Elrohir about her
telling the father, he knew he was wrong in his assumption. The baby’s
father was still alive but Amrun had refused to tell the father of the
child’s existence. The man would never know unless she changed her
mind. This shocked Elrond because while this child was not Theodred’s,
she had still named him as if he were.
After the birth of her son, Amrun was amazingly happy, spending all of
her time with her child. Thengel seemed to be the missing piece of her
heart and she cherished him more than anything. He was a wonderful
child with dirty blond curly hair and a sweet face. He had deep brown
eyes, much different from his green-eyed mother. Lord Elrond always
sensed something familiar about the child’s face as he grew older.
Since Amrun never told him who the father was, neither he nor Elladan
asked.
Elrohir and Elladan both lavished attention on the child as well. Amrun
laughed at how doting the Peredhal twins were to her son. Lord Elrond
gave the child special attention, having not been around a small child
in many years. In fact, all of Imaldris grew very fond of Thengel and
he enjoyed every moment of the attention. Amrun would secretly smile at
some of the things that the dignified elf lords of the village would
say or do to receive a smile or a laugh from her son.
When the time came for Lord Elrond to sail to Valinor, he came to say
farewell to Amrun and Thengel at their cottage. The eighteen-month-old
was playing quietly in the grass and they both stood and watched him,
enjoying the simple innocence of him.
“Éomer is his father. I know you have often wondered and I have been
too ashamed to say.” Amrun said quietly, her heart constricting
painfully at the mention of his name.
Lord Elrond took her hands gently in his. He saw the pain in her eyes
and knew she still loved Eomer. Quietly, he asked, “Amrun, why would
you ever be ashamed?”
“Because we were not bound to each other and we are not together now,
because I never told him about Thengel. There are so many reasons to be
ashamed and filled with regret. I realize now that I should have told
Éomer but it is too late.” Amrun said sadly as tears burned her eyes.
“Why is it too late?” Elrond said.
“Thengel is eighteen months old. He does not know anything about his
father. Besides Eomer has probably forgotten me anyway and he will
never forgive me for never telling him.”
Lord Elrond smiled and said “Men do not forget women like you, Amrun.
Perhaps you misjudge him. It will be hard for him to understand why
have you made the decisions you have made, but he may forgive you.”
“It is too late. I cannot go back.” Amrun said, blinking away her unshed tears.
Amrun have Elrond a long hug. “Thank you for everything you have done for Thengel and me. We will miss you greatly.”
“Elrohir and Elladan will take care of Imladris and they will continue
to help you as you need them. They care greatly for you and Thengel, as
do I.” Lord Elrond kissed her on the forehead.
When Lord Elrond walked over to Thengel, the toddler looked up with a
bright smile and outstretched arms. Elrond picked him up then talked to
him for while before giving him a tight embrace and a kiss on his brow.
Thengel threw his arms around Elrond neck and Armun smiled. Her son had
become deeply attached to the elf lord and she knew Thengel would miss
him horribly.
After Elrond left them, Amrun watched Thengel play. Her heart still
painfully burned for Éomer. Sometimes the guilt and the pain of their
parting threatened to overwhelm her. She knew now that the love she had
shared with Theodred was her first love and she would never forget him.
But her love for Éomer had gone beyond that one night despite what she
had told him. Thengel looked just like his father and he was a constant
reminder of the love she had walked away from. Ran away from was a more
accurate statement. She knew now how much she had wronged and betrayed
Eomer but did not know how to make it right now without hurting him
anymore. He was probably engaged or married to another now. The thought
of him with another woman made her ache inside. Shaking her head, she
walked over and sat down beside Thengel as he played.
Lord Erestor taught Thengel many lessons of the history of Arda.
Thengel was an eager student of everything anyone had to teach him. He
learned both Sindarin and the common tongue very quickly and at a young
age. Even the elven lord Glorfindel told the child stories of his own
history. Amrun had to frequently remind him that some stories were not
appropriate for a young child, like stories of Balrogs. Amrun quite
often found Thengel playing with the twins pretending one was an orc so
he could slay them.
While Amrun was still very shy around the other elves of Imladris,
Thengel was well known to every one as he went on adventures with his
uncles, Elrohir and Elladan. Amrun allowed him to do what she could
not, make friends with others in the city. Thengel was known by name
and Amrun was known as Thengel’s mother.
The years passed quickly. Amrun continued to let her friendship with
the twins grow. She felt so close to them, they were the brothers she
had never had. They were very caring to her in every way and she
trusted them completely.
Elrohir had the five-year old Thengel in the library when riders were
announced. He was surprised to find that Elessar and guests were now in
Imladris. Elrohir greeted Elessar, Legolas, and Gimli but was shocked
to see Eomer as well. Elrohir sent for food and drink as the men
relaxed in the library. Thengel had hidden among the bookcases and
watched the new arrivals curiously. Seeing the small man with the beard
fascinated him, and he walked slowly over to him for a closer look.
Elrohir managed to capture him in his arms before Thengel grabbed
Gimli’s beard.
“I fear your beard has caused intrigue for my small friend.” Elrohir laughed at Thengel’s wide-eyed expression of curiosity.
Aragorn looked at Elrohir and said with a smile, “And who is this?”
Unable to avoid the subject, Elrohir glanced at Eomer before he looked at the boy fondly and said, “This is Thengel.”
Éomer’s head jerked up at the mention of his grandfather’s name. Looking at the child, he said “You named your son Thengel?”
Elrohir shook his head and said, “He is not my son.”
Eomer’s eyes never left the child’s face as he stood and approached
Elrohir. The boy watched him with a big smile. Eomer’s mind raced as he
reached out to gently take the boy. Thengel did not hesitate to reach
his arms out to him.
It was this instant that Amrun entered the room and stopped suddenly
when she saw the visitors. Her heart raced when she saw Éomer again. He
was focused solely on Thengel and did not see her. Elrohir was aware of
her presence and could feel her pain and fear from across the room.
Éomer instantly recognized the child as his own. Looking at Elrohir to
ask where she was, Éomer followed his gaze and his unasked question was
answered. She was as radiantly beautiful to him as ever and he felt his
chest tighten as it always did when he saw her.
Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli saw her and all rose to greet her with warm
embraces and smiles. Éomer was still in shock and just stared at her.
As the tension in the room had become almost unbearable, Aragorn and
Legolas realized this was her son. They assumed the child was
Theodred’s as they did not know that she and Eomer had been lovers.
Both wondered why she had never told his family about the boy.
Finally, Éomer said to her in a pained voice, “How could you not tell me?”
Amrun did not say anything. All of her reasons for not telling were
small compared to the pain she had caused him. She looked down, guilty
and ashamed as tears fell down her face. She had wronged and betrayed
him and there was nothing she could say to take away his pain. Finally,
unable to look at him or anyone else, she fled the room.
Elrohir watched Éomer as he looked back at his son. Elrohir caught the
glimpse of tears in Eomer’s eyes. Kissing the boy tenderly on the
forehead, he gave him back to Elrohir and followed Amrun.
Aragorn watched this exchange and asked, “What has happened?”
Elrohir said softly, “Thengel is his son.”
Aragorn was quiet as were the other two. He felt angry for his friend
to have found out about his son this way, but he did not know Amrun’s
reasons for not telling Eomer so he would not condemn her. Looking at
Elrohir, he saw how attached he was to the child and could see that
Elrohir was upset that Amrun and Éomer were so hurt. Elrohir was caught
in the middle.
“Elrohir, do not blame yourself for what has happened or what has not.
It was not your place to make any decisions on this matter nor is it
your fault.” Aragorn said reassuringly.
Amrun ran through the halls until she came to the gazebo. There she
stopped unable to breathe because of her sobbing. She sat down and
covering her face with her hands, she started crying so hard it hurt.
She had caused Éomer so much pain and that was the last thing she
wanted to do. She had been battling her inner turmoil for years knowing
she should have told him but every day fearing more and more how he
would react to her keeping this from him. She had betrayed him, and
nothing she said could undo that. Her fear of how Thengel would be
accepted in the world of men had overridden all thought to Eomer’s
feelings or what Thengel would feel growing up without a father.
She never meant to hurt either of them. She was afraid when it came to
facing Eomer for her love for him was so strong. She felt he would not
understand why she had the need to protect her son, hiding him in
Rivendell with her own kind rather than have him in the world of Men.
Thengel was neither man nor elf but she felt he would be accepted more
by the elves. Her mistake of never telling Eomer about Thengel had
haunted her for years but she knew not how to changes things.
Amrun heard him come up behind her. Eomer waited for her to look up but
when she never did, he asked, “How could you not tell me about my son?”
“I do not know. I thought it was best not to tell you at the time. I
knew that we could not be together and I did not know how you would
feel about a child. At the time, there were so many reasons not to tell
you. I did what I thought was best for you.”
“Best for me? How is this best for me? I have missed five years of his
life. I had to find out accidentally that I had a son with a woman I
loved more than anything in the world---the woman who had left me with
just a goodbye letter. You knew how much I loved you yet you left me
rather than facing me. When you heard I had lived through the battle,
did you ever stop to think about the fact you ripped my heart out? I
came back from the battlefield, having lost so much, and all I was
wanted was to be with you, to have your love comfort me. But instead of
comfort from you, I receive a letter saying that you and I were not
meant to be. Then you have my child and you do not tell me, worried I
would not love him even though you knew how much I loved you.” Eomer
replied with both hurt and anger in his voice.
Eomer paused, taking a shaky breath, “How could you think I would not
love my own son? Do you think so little of me? Damn it, Amrun. I have
ached for you for years. I had finally given up ever getting over you
and now I find out that you have kept this from me. You kept my own son
from me.”
After a minute, Eomer asked painfully, “Are you and Elrohir lovers? Is he raising my son as his own?”
“No. Elrohir is my friend so he is very fond of Thengel. But he and I are not lovers nor is he raising Thengel.” She replied.
Eomer nodded, secretly relieved that she had not taken another lover.
But the relief was short lived and not enough to sooth his heart.
“I am going to see my son.” Eomer said coldly then marched towards the library.
Amrun watched him walk away and she knew that she deserved every bit of
his anger. She had been a coward and a fool. She did not know how she
could have been so wrong. She assumed he would have taken a wife by
now. But she now knew he still loved her and she had hurt him beyond
belief. Nothing could justify what she had done. Her mind was racing
even as her heart was breaking. She had to go find him.
Amrun ran back to the library but it was empty. Rushing outside, she
saw the other men and asked them where Éomer and Thengel were.
Aragorn looked at her and said, “We left him in the library so they could have some time alone.”
“But I just left the library and they were not there.”
Elrohir looked over the balcony for a few moments before saying, “He is at the stables with his horse.”
Confused why he would have taken Thengel to the stables, Amrun hurried there.
“Éomer, please let me talk to you,” Amrun said when she found him.
“It is too late for that.” Eomer snapped, not turning to face her.
Amrun saw that he was packing his horse and had sat Thengel on the
ground away from the horse. When he was done saddling and packing the
horse, he went and picked up the boy.
Suddenly, Amrun realized he intended to leave and take Thengel with him.
“Where are you going with my son?” Amrun cried, afraid for the first time that she could lose Thengel because of all of this.
Eomer laughed painfully and said, “I am taking my son back to Rohan where he belongs.”
“You cannot do that.” Amrun argued, feeling desperate.
“Why could I not do this? He is my son. You have made decisions for the
three of us without one thought to how I would feel. Why can I not make
decisions for the three of us without consulting you?” Eomer still
could not look at her, preferring to look at Thengel rather than face
her.
“Éomer, I know I have hurt you and I am sorry but you cannot just leave with him like this.”
“Yes, I can and I am going to. You stole over five years of his life from me and I am not going to let my
son be hidden here in Rivendell in his mother’s self-imposed prison of
shame.” Eomer finally looked at her and she could see how serious and
angry he was.
“Give me my son.” Amrun begged as tears fell on her face.
Seeing his mother crying and upset, Thengel’s lip started quivering as huge tears filled his eyes.
Aragorn, Elrohir, and Legolas hurried to the three of them coming in between Amrun and Eomer.
“Éomer, this is not the best way…” Aragorn began.
“This does not concern you, Aragorn.” Éomer interrupted barely sparing his friend a glance.
“No but it does concern that little boy who is terrified by the two of
you fighting.” Legolas said reaching for Thengel. Éomer started to pull
back then let the elf take him.
Amrun reached for Thengel but Elrohir stopped her saying, “No, Amrun.
You and Éomer need to resolve your anger without bringing Thengel into
your conflict. We will take care of Thengel until you two can be calm
enough to not terrify him.”