Story Summary:
When Theodred's true love comes to Edoras in
mourning, Eomer must deal with his own desires towards her. As her need
for his comfort increases, she must decide what role he will play in
her future. She betrays him with a lie that will change his life
forever but he must forgive her or sacrifice his happiness.
Warning: explicit consensual sex
Chapter Eleven
Unsure
Rushing into the other room, Amrun prepared for dinner while Thengel
slept. She took extra care to look her best tonight. Soaking in a hot
bath, she sat back with her eyes closed remembering the night they had
made love. Many times she thought of him with longing. Now that he was
here, she found her thoughts of him were infused once again with
longing to be with him. Imagining his hands on her caused a rush of
heat to fill her body.
After bathing, Amrun pulled out a crimson velvet gown with silver
beading from the back of the closet. The twins had forced her to have
gowns made at one point because they grew tired of her dressing as if
she wanted to be invisible. She tended to wear very few of the
beautiful gowns, choosing simple ones because she needed clothing more
suitable for chasing down a hyperactive and sometimes dirty child. This
gown was one that she had never worn because it seemed too beautiful
for just any occasion or everyday. Not knowing what the night might
bring, she wanted to look her best.
When she had finished dressing, Amrun applied a few drops of scented
oil that smelled like fresh flowers. Thengel came into the room after
his short nap while she pulled her hair back with pins.
“Ooh pretties.” Thengel said excitedly.
He came over and played with the silver beads that wrapped around her
arm. Amrun stopped what she was doing and watched him for a long time.
He was so beautiful and special. She felt as if her life had been empty
before him except for those few days of happiness with Theodred and
Éomer. Thengel would look at her and smile every once in awhile before
he resumed playing with the sleeves of her dress. He had so much of his
father in his eyes. Picking him up, she went into the other room and
changed him.
As they walked to dinner, she saw Legolas on the path. He looked at her and smiled.
“You look beautiful: irresistible, in fact. Was that your goal?” He winked
“Perhaps,” she said, blushing.
Reaching out, he took Thengel from her. “Come Thengel, let’s make sure that all eyes are on your mother when she arrives.”
He smiled as he took Thengel to dinner. Amrun stopped to take a couple
of deep breaths. She had only been this nervous once before; the night
she went to his tent and they made love. She briefly thought to herself
that perhaps she should have dressed the same way as she had that night
when she came to his tent. Giggling at the memory, she thought that
would make it an interesting dinner for certain. The laughter died on
her lips when she remembered that she had not come to seduce him, she
needed to win back his trust.
Unable to delay her arrival further, Amrun took one more deep breath
and walked the rest of the way to the home of the twins. Amrun quickly
schooled her features to make her surprise at finding so many people
there. The twins were standing with Heri, Elladan’s lover, Lord
Glorfindel, and Gimli. Legolas was talking with four ellyn from
Imladris.
Amrun turned, following Thengel’s laughter, and saw Éomer and Aragorn
with three beautiful ellith. One of them tickled Thengel while Éomer
held him and smiled. Amrun knew the ellith. They were not fond of her
and frequently acted like she did not exist. Elrohir said it was
because they were envious of her closeness with him and Elladan. The
prettiest one was tickling Thengel while her hand lingered on Éomer’s
arm. The adoring gaze of the elleth as Éomer spoke made Amrun feel as
if she had been slapped.
Legolas noticed Amrun’s arrival and came to speak with her. Seeing the
hurt in her eyes as she watched Éomer with the other elleth, he touched
her hand.
“Pay no mind to them. It is you that he loves.”
“It is her that he is mesmerized by.” Amrun replied, then walked away.
Watching the exchange between Legolas and Amrun, Elrohir saw she was distressed and approached her.
“Amrun, what is wrong?” He asked, concerned.
Staring a hole into the floor with her downcast eyes, Amrun did not
reply to Elrohir. Glancing towards Éomer, he suddenly understood why
she was upset. He lightly tugged her a lock her hair.
“You look beautiful. When he sees you, he will forget she exists.”
“You would think he would notice me since my son has come in the room
and we are usually together.” She responded, pouting slightly.
Elrohir smiled at her childish sulking. Sometimes he forgot how young
she was. Childish behavior was not something she normally indulged in,
but apparently Éomer had caused her already delicate self-confidence to
wane horribly. Amrun had lived away from others for so long and had
become so shy that it had been a constant battle to keep her from
withdrawing from everyone. Most people in Imladris were kind to her and
understood her shyness, but Eresse and the other two ellith standing
with Éomer and Aragorn had always shunned her.
“Your son arrived with Legolas, not you and Éomer has not had a chance
to see you. When he does, he will see no other,” Elrohir said gently.
Elrohir watched with concern how frequently Eresse touched Éomer’s arm.
Always overly affectionate, Eresse seemed to be particularly fond of
the young king. She was playing with Thengel even though she used to
complain about how they all spoiled “that child”, as she often referred
to Thengel.
Amrun glanced up hearing Eresse laugh at something Éomer said. Seeing
her waving a wineglass over her son’s head threw her past hurt into
angry. Walking over to the loud and obnoxious elleth, Amrun extracted
Thengel from Éomer’s arms.
“Forgive me. It looked as if perhaps he might be doused with wine
soon.” Amrun said. Though she smiled at Eresse, Amrun’s eyes shot
daggers at the other elleth before she walked away.
Éomer watched Amrun’s retreat. She looked even more tempting than
usual. The red in her gown accented her dark hair and fair skin making
her look even more striking. The four elves talking to Legolas were
watching her as well. Taking a large drink of wine, Éomer tried to cool
his jealous anger.
Éomer realized that he had somehow upset Amrun, though he did not know
what he had done. When she looked up and saw him watching her, she
turned away quickly, sitting down at the dining table with Thengel in
her lap.
Éomer watched as Thengel played with Amrun’s hair. There was something
so beautiful about the two of them together. Amrun absentmindedly
pulled her hair from Thengel’s mouth as she smiled down at him. The elf
beside him was once again touching his arm. Éomer looked over and
smiled, half listening to her, as Eresse laughed overly loud. Each
laugh annoyed him.
Wrapping her hand around Éomer’s upper arm, Eresse said in a sultry tone, “So Thengel is your son?”
Smiling proudly, he replied, “Yes, he is.”
“So you and Amrun are…?” She inquired in a meddling tone.
“Yes. We are.” Éomer said and walked away from her.
Éomer was unsure how to describe their relationship now but he did not
feel the need to explain himself to her. He walked over to Amrun and
pulled Thengel from her lap as he sat down beside her.
“I am surprised you remembered we were even here.” Amrun said, in an
annoyed manner, reaching for her wine. Her statement shocked him. Éomer
then heard Eresse’s laughter from somewhere behind him and cringed
inwardly before responding.
“Are you jealous?” He asked incredulously.
“No, of course not. If that is the type of person you wish to spend
time with, there is nothing to stop you. I would appreciate it however,
if you would spare my son the punishment of her company.” Amrun said,
not looking at him. A deep blush covered her cheeks. “She is not overly
fond of children and I would hate to see her use Thengel as a device
with which to seduce you.”
Éomer smiled to himself. He had forgotten how enticing she was when she
was angry. Shaking his head as if to rid his mind of desire, Éomer
reminded himself not to allow his heart to open up to being hurt again.
The other guests began taking their seats and more drinks were soon
poured. Éomer’s jaw clenched as a dark haired elf smiled warmly at
Amrun and sat beside her.
Éomer heard him say, “Amrun, you look radiant tonight.”
“Thank you Raumo.” Amrun said, with a blush
Leaning forward Éomer said, “Good evening. I do not believe we have
been introduced. I am King Éomer of Rohan.” Raumo nodded a greeting
before Éomer continued, “Perhaps you know my son Thengel?” Raumo looked
shocked and smiled slightly.
Amrun smiled, realizing that the inappropriately terse introduction had
to do with jealousy on Éomer’s behalf. The fact that the King of Rohan
was not above jealousy brought a smug smile of satisfaction to her face
and she could not resist a sideways glance at Éomer’s discomfort.
Thengel was stroking Éomer’s beard, fascinated, and she laughed at her
son’s wonder. Éomer smiled down at Thengel then pretended to bite his
fingers as Thengel giggled. Amrun and Éomer’s eyes met for a brief
moment and she smiled softly at him before glancing away.
Throughout dinner, Thengel crawled back and forth between the two of
them, unable to sit in one place or the other for long. Their friends
were hopeful observing the two smiling occasionally, speculating at the
possibility that perhaps they looked upon a future happy family. At
least, they were heading down that path, however long it might take.
Each of them hoped the couple would make amends.
Despite his wish for reconciliation between the two, Elrohir felt deep
hurt at the thought of what this would mean for him. He pushed his
nagging doubts to the back of his mind.
Thengel eventually fell asleep in his mother’s lap and Éomer watched
the two of them for a long time. His heart was aching to be with Amrun.
He loved his son and he wanted them to be a family. His mind was
whirling but his heart yearned for her as it had since the day he met
her.
Unconsciously, Éomer reached out and pulled Amrun’s hair out of
Thengel’s fingers. She glanced over at him and their eyes locked. After
a few moments, a flash of hurt crossed his eyes and he turned away. It
upset her that he could not even face her. Biting her lip, she looked
down at Thengel then picked him up and pushed away from the table. When
she stood, everyone turned to regard her. She smiled and excused
herself saying she needed to put Thengel in bed for the night. Quickly,
she fled from the room, blinking back tears.
“Amrun, wait.” Elrohir called to her.
Her steps halted as she waited for Elrohir to reach her. Stopping in front of her, he took Thengel from her gently.
“You should go speak with him. Do not run and hide.”
“Elrohir, last night he said it was too late. I need to accept that.”
Elrohir sighed and walked her home. “Amrun, you know that you and Éomer
love each other. And you both love Thengel, which is the most important
thing. The two of you just have to find a way to build on that love and
repair some of the hurt. It was only yesterday that he found out about
Thengel. Before that you told Éomer you wanted him to move on with his
life. He needs time.”
“I know. It is just…” She paused. “I have been apart from him for years
and have thought of nothing but him. Now he is here and it is harder
still because the feelings are even stronger, yet I cannot undo my
mistake.”
Elrohir stroked her arm and smiled at her. “If it makes you feel
better, he watched you leave, just as he has watched you all night.”
Amrun laughed at him. “Thank you for trying to make me feel better.”
Elrohir smiled and kissed both her and Thengel good night then ran back
up the path to his house. Quietly she opened the door to the cottage
trying not to wake Thengel, who she then put to bed. Her hair fell in
waves down her back as she removed the pins that had been holding it
up. Changing into a sleeping gown, she lay on the bed and cried herself
to sleep yet again.
For the next couple of weeks, she saw Éomer every morning when he came
to take Thengel with him and then again at night when he brought him
home. Amrun was miserable. She knew Éomer and Thengel needed time
together but she missed being with her son every day and Éomer’s
presence caused her ample pain.
~~~~~
Elrohir and Elladan had been trying to improve her skills with a bow
for months. One day, they took her and Legolas down to the practice
field.
Laughing, Elrohir said, “Amrun, show him.”
“No. I will not make a fool of myself.” She shook her head.
“Do not be shy. Perhaps Legolas can help you.” Elladan nodded to Legolas. They finally bullied her into showing him.
Amrun tried shooting the target and missed by a few dozen feet.
Elrohir said, “Try again. Try aiming.”
Once again, she tried. This time she was a little closer. She smiled
and glanced back at the three of them and saw they were holding back
laughter. As soon as she got mad, they began laughing. The twins were
laughing so hard tears were running down their faces. Legolas, at
least, pretended to try to stop. Throwing the bow down, she stomped
away.
Elrohir caught her by her waist and said, “Forgive us, Amrun. We did not mean to laugh. We will try to help you.”
They spent the afternoon trying to help her. Finally, the twins gave up
and just watched as Legolas persisted in helping her. When Aragorn,
Gimli, and Éomer came down to the field with Thengel, Legolas was
trying once again to get her to understand she could not aim then close
her eyes when she shot. Since Thengel was asleep, the men were able to
watch without her noticing.
“Aim. Now breathe out slowly and when you are ready: release. Keep your
eyes open this time.” Legolas said quietly as he was standing behind
her.
As soon as she released the arrow, it sailed about three feet from the
target. Legolas’ shoulders dropped as he stared at the ground.
“Are you sure you are an elf? You seem to have no natural elvish abilities.” Elrohir yelled.
The whole group laughed except Amrun and Legolas, who was holding his laughter in.
“It is a good thing we provide food and protection for you. If you had
to rely on your abilities, you would have much difficulty.” Elladan
teased her.
“Amrun, when you were in the woods of Rohan, did the deer politely leap on your plate?” Elrohir asked, laughing.
“There are many times I wish to strangle the two of you,” she said, glaring at the twins.
“Perhaps you would do better with a sword, Amrun.” Aragorn said with a smile. “Less aiming.”
Seeing that the two men and Thengel had arrived, she blushed before she
smiled sweetly and replied, “Do you mean I could use the sword instead
of the bow or to murder these two?” Legolas lost the battle holding
back his laughter with her remark and everyone shared a laugh.
“I think I will do better if I just surround myself with others who do
well with these things. I will continue to do things I do best.”
“And what things are those exactly?” Elladan smiled.
Walking by Elladan, Amrun kicked him in the leg. Thengel had woken up
and was reaching for her. She took her son and held him lovingly as the
men began to challenge each other with various weapons.
When Aragorn and Éomer began to sword fight, Thengel watched them with
wide eyes. They spent the rest of the day watching the men compete
against each other in various activities. Amrun laughed as the twins
glared at her when Legolas won their archery challenges.
As the sun was setting, they walked to dinner at the twin’s house
again. After dinner, Thengel had fallen asleep in his father’s arms so
Éomer followed her back to her cottage. Thengel woke up and insisted
that his father tell him a story. Amrun heard Éomer recounting a tale
of when he and Theodred were children. She smiled sadly at the thought
of Theodred.
Before closing his eyes, Thengel mumbled sleepily, “Le melon, Ada.”
Tears sprang to Amrun’s eyes instantly when she heard her son’s words.
After a few moments, Éomer came out of Thengel’s room and shut the door
quietly.
Concerned, he asked, “What is wrong?”
“Do you know what he said?” She said quietly.
“No. I was going to ask you.”
“He said I love you daddy,” she said, wiping the tears away from her eyes.
Éomer smiled a huge smile. He came and sat beside her on the couch and
said, “I love him too. He is such a wonderful little boy. He is forever
making me laugh and seems much smarter than he should be at his age.”
Amrun nodded proudly. He was sitting very close to her and she felt excited just having him so near to her.
“He is very attached to the twins.” Éomer said quietly after a moment.
“They adore each other. I am not close to many others here. The other
ellith are pleasant to me but I have befriended no one. The ellith at
dinner the night after you arrived are very…umm…distant to me.” Looking
down, she said “I suppose living alone for so long has made it
difficult for me to get close to others or befriend them.”
Watching her closely, Éomer replied, “Yet you and Legolas seem close.”
“Legolas and I are much alike. Both of us prefer to stay in the
background rather than be around others.” Amrun sighed. “It does not
bother me that others do not wish to be closer to me. I have Thengel so
I do not need anyone else. But the twins have been true friends to me
since I arrived here and I love them both dearly.”
Éomer looked at her for a long time then began to study the floor. “Does that mean you have not had a lover since that night?”
Watching him, Amrun said, “I never wanted any other but you.”
Blushing, she looked down at her hands. They both sat quietly for a long time trying to find the words to say.
Finally, Éomer broke the silence saying; “I must know something.”
“Yes?”
“When I leave, will you be coming with me to Rohan?”
“I do not know.” Amrun said honestly. “I will do what is best for
Thengel. If his place is in Rohan, then that is where I will go.”
“You would leave here and come back to Rohan so he could be with me?”
“Are you giving me a choice?” She asked softly, still not looking at him.
Éomer was quiet as he studied her. Softly, he said, “If Thengel was not a factor, would you come back to Rohan with me?”
“You would not ask me to go if it were not for your son, would you?” Amrun looked at him questioningly.
Éomer sat back and ran his hand through his hair. “I do not know anymore.”
Amrun’s heart skipped a beat. “But you said it was too late for us.” She whispered.
Éomer was silent for so long that she started to feel the hurt overwhelm her. Finally he said, “Perhaps I was wrong.”
Suddenly, he stood up and began pacing. “I do not know what to do. My
feelings are confused. You have hurt me and I do not want to be hurt by
you again. Yet I know that if I am not with you, I hurt anyway. I do
not want you to go to Rohan just because you feel you must for
Thengel’s sake, not if it means that you will be unhappy. Yet I want
you both with me, not just Thengel. I do not want to make a mistake
that will end up causing us more years of pain.” Éomer said frustrated.
“I am so angry with you for not telling me about Thengel, yet when I
see you with him, I know in my heart that you think you are protecting
him. You did not deceive me in an effort to hurt me, but because you
were concerned for him. I also know that I am still in love with you.
Yet that does not make your deception any less painful.”
Amrun stood up and walked in front of him. “I am confused as well
Éomer. I do not know my place in your life. I cannot take back my
actions yet I have done everything I can to allow you time to know our
son. I have given you time to possibly understand my reasons. But I am
his mother and if he is to be a part of your life, then you must accept
me as well. You cannot shut me out of my son’s life”
“If you are to come to Rohan, we must be married so that Thengel will be accepted as my heir.” Éomer said.
“Yet you say I would be your wife in name only.” Amrun said looking
down. “This is not how I thought I would be asked to marry. Perhaps I
should consider myself lucky, for you think this is all that I deserve?“
Éomer walked over to Amrun and pulled her chin up, gazing into her eyes
for a long time. Bending down, he brushed his lips against hers. He
continued to kiss her and each kiss lingered longer. Finally, he drew
her into his arms and kissed her deeply. Bringing her closer, his
tongue slid into her mouth, exploring her gently at first. As their
kiss grew more feverish, Amrun moaned softly. She wrapped her arms
around his neck and pulled him closer still. She kissed him with all of
the passion she had been feeling for him for years.
When he released her lips for a moment, she whispered to him, “I love
you Éomer.” Tears started sliding down her face. He watched her eyes
then kissed away the tears. Once again, he claimed her mouth, demanding
her submission, and she willingly conceded.
Suddenly, he pulled away and looked at her, confused. Breathing deeply, he whispered, “Amrun, I am not certain yet.”
“You are not certain if you love me?” Amrun asked backing away from him.
“I am not certain I can forgive you and be with you like…this, like we could have been at one time.”